From Colleague to Manager: How I Helped a Friend Navigate the Shift in Six Coaching Sessions

Becoming a manager for the first time can feel like stepping onto an entirely new playing field, one where the rules, expectations, and relationships all change overnight. When a close friend of mine was promoted from within their team to a management role, they were thrilled but also deeply unsettled. “I feel like an imposter,” she confided in me. “Yesterday I was just one of the team. Today I’m their boss.”

As a leadership coach, I’ve supported many professionals through transitions like this. But when it’s someone you know personally, the stakes feel different. So we agreed on a simple structure: six one hour coaching sessions spread over three months. It gave us enough time to dig deep whilst also allowing them to reflect and apply their learning between sessions.

This is how six sessions helped them shift from feeling unsure to stepping confidently into their role as a manager.

Session 1: Resetting the Narrative

We began by exploring the complex mix of emotions she was experiencing.  There was excitement, but also some guilt and fear of being seen as “power-hungry”. There was also a large dose of imposter syndrome. Together, we reframed her promotion as a recognition of potential rather than perfection. We explored the mindset shift from doing the work to enabling the work, and how leadership isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about creating the space for others to thrive.

Tools we used: Leadership identity map

Breakthrough: “I’m not pretending to be a manager - I am one, and I get to define what kind.”

Session 2: Navigating Former Peer Relationships

Her trickiest early challenge was how to manage relationships with colleagues who were now direct reports. Suddenly being “the boss” can trigger awkwardness and even resistance. We mapped her key relationships and identified where new boundaries, conversations, or resets were needed. I introduced the concept of warm authority, balancing approachability with clarity and direction.

Tools we used: Stakeholder Mapping & Conversation Planning

Breakthrough: “I can bring people with me by being honest about the transition.”

Session 3: Finding Her Leadership Voice

By session three, she was beginning to settle in but she still felt unsure how to lead authentically. We explored her values, leadership role models and moments when she felt most confident. From that, we crafted a simple leadership manifesto: a set of three guiding principles that captured how she wanted to show up as a manager.

Tools we used: Values Elicitation & Personal Manifesto Exercise

Breakthrough: “I don’t have to copy anyone. I can lead in a way that’s true to me.”

Session 4: Handling Conflict and Difficult Conversations

This session was sparked by a real-time situation whereby she was having to address underperformance in someone she used to share banter with at lunch. We practiced the conversation using coaching techniques and roleplay then debriefed what made it effective. We also talked about the emotional load of being the one who holds people accountable.

Tools we used: Radical Candour Framework & Coaching Style Roleplay

Breakthrough: “Avoiding discomfort isn’t kind, it’s unfair. Being clear is kind.”

Session 5: Managing Up and Out

Now that she was more comfortable managing her team, the next challenge was managing upwards and across the business. We looked at how to communicate impact, manage expectations, and influence senior stakeholders. We practiced a ‘managing up’ conversation and looked at how to build visibility without self-promotion feeling awkward.

Tools we used: Influence Mapping & Communication Strategy

Breakthrough: “I can shape how others see me by showing up with clarity and purpose.”

Session 6: Integration and Looking Ahead

In our final session, we reviewed the journey and celebrated how far she’d come. We captured key insights, wins and the shifts in her confidence. We also explored what still felt fragile and where she needed to keep developing. She left with a 90-day plan and a sense of pride in her growth - not just as a manager, but as a leader.

Tool used: Growth Reflection & Future Planning

Breakthrough: “This role is stretching me and I’m rising to it.”

Looking Back: The Power of Structured Support

Helping my friend through this transition reminded me just how powerful structured, reflective coaching can be, especially when the shift is personal and visible. We didn’t solve everything in six sessions, but we certainly laid a strong foundation. She no longer saw herself as someone who “got lucky” with a promotion, but as someone who was stepping up, learning fast, and leading with intention.

And the best part? She’s now mentoring another new manager. That’s how it begins….a ripple of confidence and clarity, passed on.

If you’ve recently stepped into a management role, or know someone who has, consider how structured support can ease the shift for them and their team. Whether through coaching, mentoring, or reflection, nobody has to figure it out alone. I'd be delighted to have an informal chat about how I can help. Book a free 'Discovery Call' which is available on the website.